Interested, Or Interesting?
I've watched the greatest women, my closest friends, historical figures, my sisters, myself, all plunge head first into the pool of comparison, I've watched us drown. We sink all the way down to the dark and lonely bottom, with building pressure and lose sight of the sun. I've seen the hope of a beautiful friendship fade, the promise of a sisterhood bond disappear. Leaders that have become despised, purest intentions become false pretense. Why? Why have we seen such wonderful things become tarnished and destroyed?
I feel like recently I keep hearing women say, "I'm no good at friendships with girls." I have even said it many times myself. So what do we do? We become lonely. We internalize our feelings and portray individualism, we stuff the truth because we'd rather be alone than tell someone we need them. Why have we made it easier to be apart? Why are we choosing to drown (and watching each other do the same) instead of fighting for air, for sun, for life?
A huge part of this, I believe, is due to the culture of our time. America has tricked us into believing that self-protection and doing what's best for yourself is the greatest way to live and to think. This mentality has left us to never rely on each other, to lose the most beautiful and precious gift of a strong, caring community. We have decided that it is best to fight for ourselves than to fight for each other. Social Media is the quintessential example of this. SELFIES. I mean I get it. You're like, really pretty. I love taking a good selfie, it makes me feel like I. Am. Awesome. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad to post pictures of yourself. Being a fashion blogger I post tons of pictures of myself. And believe me, I've had to overcome a lot of insecurity to be able to do so, I know it's not always easy. All I'm saying is that a culture has been created that allows women to focus so much on themselves, to make sure the world sees them in a certain kind of light (natural light while you're facing your bedroom window, to be specific). It has become more important to do this than to show off the greatness of someone else. I see women craving so much attention, wanting to be loved and accepted by their peers. I see women forgetting about the beautiful art of friendship and championing each other. The love of encouraging one another has been lost. We now prefer to be interesting to people, instead of being interested in people.
I don't want this culture. YOU don't want this culture. No one truly wants it to be like this. Unfortunately we all struggle with insecurity that we're not brave enough to open up about, and so we continue building the bad habit of seclusion. LADIES. All it takes is time and courage. It really is as easy as YOU choosing to not accept this kind of mentality in your own life. It takes time to build a healthy habit, and I propose the habit of being interested. Instead of spending all of your time thinking about how to convince everyone to pay attention to you, start thinking of ways you can make your friends feel listened to or appreciated. Instead of buying coffee for yourself on your way to work, buy it for your lovely co-worker who sits across from you. When browsing the sale section in Target, buy the cute floral top for your neighbor who complains of never having money to buy cute clothes. When hanging out with your gal pal, try showing her your interested by listening to her and asking questions about her life instead of talking about yourself. All it takes is small little commitments or gestures to show someone they are worth it.
In light of this, I have decided to focus a lot more on championing the women in my life through this blog. I have a passion for style and fashion, so I still will be focusing on outfits and inspiration and such. But I want to make a difference through what I write and what I promote. I want to share ways for you women who read this blog to find affordable fashion that fits your style perfectly, and I want to help you find the courage to express yourself through it. In addition, I want all my readers to be inspired by all of the incredible women I've met and know, so I'm gonna write about them. I want to take a stand for all women, I want to champion all sorts of personalities and ways of life and body shapes and fashion taste. I want us to believe in each other, to encourage each other, and to love each other well. I want to be interested in YOU. I want all of us to stop focusing so much on trying so hard to be interesting, and start focusing on being interested in the beauty of the women that surround us.